Evil Stomach Bug vs. Mom

It’s been a busy few days. The two older boys got baptized and lil man got dedicated. That was an exciting day for us.

Bree’s whole family has been sick with an evil stomach bug. It took her husband down for 4 days, Ralph gave her a runny diaper, and her daughter, precious Twinkies, threw up all over her. The joys of a stay at home mom!  Bree held down the fort like a champ. I would have pulled my hair up, out, crooked, and sideways before my day was done. I told you this to tell you this. Bree came Sunday and left the rest of the family at home to be sick together. She did what any respectful person does when other people are ate up with the nasty stomach bug; she stepped out the door and sprayed herself down with Lysol.  This morning (Monday) I get a call saying, “I’ve got this shit.” What do I do? Freak of course! What does any germaphobe do when they discover a sickling has been in their presence? Yep… Freak out! I already keep things pretty clean around the house but today (Monday), I set off Lysol bombs, wiped down everything, washed my hands too many times, GermXed them too many times. I’m so bad I’m scared to talk to her on the phone for fear of catching it through the lines. You really believe that? Hope not. Hopefully tomorrow she is feeling much better. Her husband came home from work to give her a hand, well actually he took over the fort and let her quarantine herself into the bed/bathroom.

Now, let me explain myself. I’m not like a crazy germaphobe. I believe in letting some germs enter the house so your body can learn to fight them off, but not the stomach bug! I have too much at stake. No I don’t like to shake people’s hands, which can be an awkward moment when someone is staring at you and you don’t have the heart to say “I saw you wipe your nose, um no thank you. Hi from over here.” I hate grabbing door handles, or anything of that sort outside of my house. I bet you I clean things that a lot of people never think about cleaning. Top of the soap dispenser, you know the ones you have to push down, them things are nasty. Washer and dryer knobs and handles, phones, and remotes. Once a week I hit every single door knob, kitchen knob, and light switch there is. I bet you my hubby is reading this now screaming for me to tell you his favorite germaphobe quirk about me. He laughs at me because I cannot stand vinyl flooring in the bathroom when I’m barefoot. So if I go into the bathroom, say to pee, Im sitting on the toilet and my toes are off the ground. I’m on my heels. If I’m in a hotel, I’m in flops just so I can walk into the bathroom. YUCK!  I’m not that bad though, just over conscious would be a great way to put it. Nowadays AJAX cant get a lot of this mess off, plus I’m a stay at home mom, I have no sick days!

So, if you do see me down the street and shake my hand, don’t get offended if I automatically grab for the germX or if I just plain don’t shake your hand….I saw you just wipe your nose. 🙂


Wrecking Ralph and the Bully

Last night my best friend, Bree, had to take her son Ralph to the ER. I call him Ralph because it’s short for Wrecking Ralph and if you knew this kid you would understand! He’s a mix between a dare devil, chaotic, accident prone, and wild. He is a sweet child don’t get me wrong, and he’s very smart but he throws caution to the wolves. He’s not even 3 and has been to the ER three times. Not because mom and dad’s neglect but because this boy is all of the above. You can’t hold this kid down. It’s like trying to leash a grizzly bear…aint happening! He wasn’t a year old yet and decided to base jump off the bed. That ended in a broken collar bone. Then a little after a year, he did a forward facing ½ summersault pike dive off the couch and landed himself stitches in the lip. And last night the entertainment center jumped him and that landed staples in his head. Poor kid!! I guess he had to try to be like Trooper. Only positive is it’s right here at Halloween and it goes good with costumes.

But thinking about Ralph and Trooper it dawned on me…we have bullies as entertainment centers. Both entertainment centers jumped our kids. They’re too chicken to jump someone their own size, they can only pick on the little ones. I’m boycotting the bullies. I’m gonna leave dust in their eyes. How dare them hurt our children. Right now mine knows I’m packing heat. I’ve got my eyes on it and one wrong move and BAM!!! Pledge time! Mess with my kid and see what happens.

School, and jealousy, and storms oh my!

School. School. School. Did I mention that I really despise school? LOL Yes I am pushing for a double major. Right now I’m focusing on a Business Degree, and if possible my double major will include HR. I salute the women who work full time, have children, and school. I’m just a stay at home mom and I struggle. But I take my time and this is my 3rd semester in and I’m rocking a 4.0 grade average. Yep gonna toot my horn some.

Speaking of tooting horns, has anyone seen the picture floating around the internet where it’s a mother of 3 and she is ripped up and looks good? Why are people having such a hard time with this? I think she rocks! There are some people saying that she doesn’t have her priorities right, she doesn’t put her kids first, blah blah blah. Poor lady. That picture motivates me. Not to exercise but to want to. That’s close right? Wonder if I can burn calories by thinking about exercise? That would kick butt! I would be so fit….who the hell am I kidding, I would still be flabby.

Update on Trooper: He continues to rip off his band aid and his butterfly stitches, but it does look like it’s healing up good. Also, none of the boys will admit to cutting the pillow case. The case of the pillow case remains unsolved although if this was put in front of a jury, Marvin would have some incriminating evidence against him.

Nothing much has happened in the past few days. It’s remained calm. As a mom I have come to realize in my years that calm really is the calm before the storm and all hell is going to break lose soon. Fingers crossed that no storms are sneaking up! Have a great night yall!

Oh What A Weekend

This weekend has been an adventurous one. We went camping at our normal camping spot about 45 minutes down the road. Hubby had to work Friday night and he got off work early, so he got to the camper around 4 in the morning (Saturday). Needless to say when I wake up and see a man standing in the camper, my “Buddy” bout put a few holes in the wall. But no one has holes in them, and Buddy remained in his bed.

Now the day is going by and I noticed that Trooper has ripped out his stitches! Kid, really? So we put butterfly stitches on it since it has only been about 2 days. Then later on that night we are all playing corn hole in the middle of the street, (yea redneck style) and my youngest walks over to a friend of ours RV. Next thing I hear is a loud bang, and Trooper is screaming his head off. Of course I look like the Road Runner and take off towards him with a dust cloud behind me. I don’t even think my feet hit the ground. He plummeted down 6 very steep steps and he was laid out. I automatically figured his chin wound was gaping open, and blood looked like the Niagara Falls but nope his chin was still intact. BUT his left side of his face and down his neck looks like he was drug behind a car. We check him out and he’s all good. He learnt that sky diving isn’t so fun. Well…I guess that would be base jumping huh? Poor dude.

Let’s hope this week is better.

Bloody Gash

What a day! So my youngest decided to barrel into the entertainment stand with his chin. He screamed so loudly that I’m sure China heard him. But he didn’t cry at all. I looked at him to see if he was toothless and realized he was bleeding from his chin. I grabbed a wash cloth, of course it had to be white, cold water, and straight to his chin. I look and saw it wasn’t the normal straight line gash, it was a gaping wound. Oh hell! This momma was ready to freak out! But I remained calm cause who needs a freaked out child who is petrified. So long story short, 3 stitches and several hours later, he was a whiney mess. More than his norm of whiney. He deserves to be whiney tonight. He was momma’s trooper! Now momma on the other hand had to grasp reality twice. In all this mess I’m trying not to pass out. Let me explain this. I do absolutely fine with blood and guts UNTIL the bloody gutty person says ‘ouch’ and from that moment on its sparkly lights. After they numbed that sucker (the wound) and he quit telling the nurse to stop it hurts, I was good. I watched it all…needles and thread. I had it under control. The best news out of all this…1st his head is still attached and he isn’t going to be running around like a backwoods redneck with 2 ‘tooths’ left in his whole head and 2nd he held his pee until he got to the potty! Yes! Why so happy you ask? Cause I didn’t have to change a pee filled underwear that’s why. Potty training can be so much fun…for a crazed person.

Let’s hope the night is adventureless and everyone sleeps deeply.

The Case of the Pillow Case

Last night was the case of the pillow case. I have kids that think mom and dad are dumb and have never done anything in their lives. I find a pillow case with the corner cut off. Not the oops I caught it on something, or I gnawed on it while I slept. This was intentional grabbed scissors and cut the corner off. So I ask the two older boys and my responses are: Nope and No. Awesome! Maybe for Christmas I can get the tattoo of STUPID across my forehead. Yay! Just what I’ve always wanted. *insert sarcasm here* Not only do we have a crazed corner cutter off-er, but now we have a liar. At least the middle one didn’t blame the 2 year old or the dog this time.

My middle son, we will call him Marvin with the first name of Messy, he tends to come up with the most ridiculous things I swear a human being can say out of their mouths. One time he tried being sneaky and cut a slit under a stuffed dogs ear and hid things in it. When asked about it, “the youngest brother did it.” He gave us a great story about how the youngen must have cut it and put these objects in it and put the stuffed dog, which by the way was just as big as Marvin, back on the bed and left it there for us to find. Like some sneaky plan to get his older brother in trouble. Another time where I wondered if my tattoo on my forehead was showing.

Oh how about this one for Marvin. One day he’s eating a hot dog and you see him stop chewing and just sit there. “Why what is the matter young fellow?” Marvin’s response: “I forgot how to swallow.” Take that one and let it simmer.  Below are some things Marvin has said lately:

  • While eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, oldest brother stated he hated jelly. Marvin, in his genius way, says “Dude it’s like a chicken biscuit without the chicken!” Ummm….sure!
  • “Mom! That frog was either the frog I caught the other night or it wasn’t.” Ha! Good one. Maybe it ate the other frog and it was a 2-in-1 deal.
  • “That moth is the moth that was outside. He flew inside.” Thank you Marvin. I figured he was staying under the stairs and decided it was time to take off.

Those are just a few of the wonderful Marvin-isms he can come up with.  I’m going to leave you with these and let you simmer them.

Out With the Old and In With the New

I’m a little slow. I’ve wanted to write a diary for a few weeks now and a friend recommended me to do blogs instead. How slow you ask? I had to Google what a blog was. Yep that’s me! A 31 year old who still thought diaries were the “in” thing to do. Damn if I’m not getting old. Remember when you could hula hoop for hours? No more! Today it’s no fun. We’re all too fat, lazy, or busy.

Let me introduce myself…Call me Sunshine. Yep that’s code for fake name. The rest is all real except the names. I have 3 wonderful children 2, 10, 11…hence “My Padded Room” and I married the town whore a few months back. LOL I’ve known him for years, and I know he has grown up and he thinks with the head on his shoulders. I stated I was 31 and I’m hoping from the diary sentence you gathered I’m a woman. 🙂 I’m the only female in my house! I’m a stay at home mom…hence “My Padded Room” with the 2 year old. He’s a whiney little thing, but he has his mommas heart wrapped around his pinky.

I have a weird and sometimes twisted sense of humor. You will learn all this as we go. I rant a lot and probably will say things that I’m going to have to apologize for. Here’s a quick tip about me: If you get offended easily, quit reading now, step away from the computer, and go find a life. I’m not trying to be mean, I’m far from that, just know I hate to sugar coat things. I’m blunt. Not the ones you smoke, I don’t do drugs.

So what brings me here? I have a lot on my mind. Today’s days are wildly outnumbered by the abnormal days to you that seem extremely normal to me. Most likely I will be here every night granted I haven’t moved into the looney bin.