Tag Archives: boys

Fast Car! Car Keys!!!

My kids play this game that if they see a car that they think looks hot they call car keys on it. So now they own this car and no one else can call car keys on that vehicle unless it’s the next day. This is the same for trucks, campers, motorcycles, houses, etc. My favorite one is Set Up keys! This one is universal: If a truck is pulling a camper, a trailer with equipment on the back of it, or whatever it’s a setup key call. I personally do not have a parking lot that can fit all the vehicles and what not that they have called.

My oldest son tickles me. He’s really big into cars and of course the Fast and the Furious imports. He can just hear a ‘fart can’ (a car with a loud exhaust on it) and scream car keys! The 2 older boys are so competitive with each other that they will start calling them on everything they see going down the interstate. Sometimes it is sweet. I get a “Car keys for Momma!” or “Car keys! Mom will you drive me around in it?” “House keys! Here mom you can have it.” Yea sometimes they think of me.

Ok here are the rules to car keys:

  • First who yells it…gets it. If it’s a tie then you must decide who is going to “drive” it on the weekends or through the week.
  • You have to know the maker and try to know the type. For example: Ford (maker) Flex (type) or Chevy (maker) Tahoe (type)
  • You have to see it. For example, you drive a road everyday, you cannot call something around the corner. You have to see it.
  • If you don’t know the maker you have to try your best to figure it out. This is hard when you call car keys on a vehicle traveling the opposite direction on the interstate.
  • If you absolutely cant figure out what the car is, then the call is up to mom and dad.
  • You cannot call a whole parking lot. You can call an Army base but you have to be willing to share the tanks, true-hummers, and whatever else is ‘cool’ in there.
  • You cannot call the same car twice in one day.
  • No car keys infinity. Meaning it’s always yours.
  • You can call ONE house infinity, which by the way, mine is flipping awesome!
  • You are either in or you’re out. I mean don’t say you’re not playing then call car keys.

I know it seems like a lot of rules but once you play it, it gets very easy. I catch myself playing car keys by myself or with someone who doesn’t really care, like my father. Today I called a black Mazzeratti (sp?). That thing was nice.

I absolutely hate traveling sometimes because of this game. My 2 year old yells out car keys on hoopty rides LOL. WARNING: This game is extremely annoying, but just smile and ignore.  I will give you a hint: if someone calls car keys on a motorcycle, well then you must know they don’t have that motorcycle, so you better yell out motorcycle keys…then it’s yours. I have a parking lot full of motorcycles,

It’s a good imaginary game. It prevents punching wars between brothers in the back for calling punch bugs. Although, sometimes it can cause nasty arguments of “Not fair! You can see around dads head.”

So try it out. Go get you some cars that you never thought you would own. But don’t forget, it’s imaginary, so don’t go get in that car and take off. Don’t hold me responsible for you not reading well. 🙂

Love to Hate SAHM

Walls. Four of them. They tend to move at me, closing in. Sometimes I even see them pointing and laughing at me. Other times they move in the middle of the night and when sleep deprived mom wakes up to get the kids up, I’m usually bouncing off them all the way to each boy’s room.

I’m not the typical stay-at-home-mom. I don’t go run errands, go to the park, or just have a fun time. I am the SAHM that has the never ending laundry basket, dishes in the sink, and a dirty house. I constantly clean up after my lil man, and the rest of the family. Laundry is the evil villain in my house. It mocks me as I wash them. It’s like a horror movie! I’m throwing clothes in the washer and the laundry basket is laughing as the clothes are marching in and jumping in the basket. Clothes are also running around the house and running out of energy to just plop where they were. Sounds nightmarish huh?

Then you have toys. The evil villains trusted side kick. They come to life while you have your back turned, like the movie Toy Story.  They live their normal lives amongst us giants that like to throw them in the box. I call them evil mainly because…well have you ever stepped on a toy blindly or even a Lego. I think that’s the equivalency of being shot but only by a toddler.

I am blessed that I am a SAHM but then again I am not. Some people would give their arm to be one, until they realize that it’s not all that fun. SAHM’s have no sick time, no vacation time, and no personal time. When you have the stomach bug, the cold, the flu, or whatever else can sneak in and get you, unfortunately you are the heart of the house and can’t miss a beat. Your youngen doesn’t care that you are sick; they want to play, or pee, or poop, or play choo-choos, or eat. Then you must do all that the little monster summons you to do or you will hear “mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mommie, mommie, mommie, mommie, mom, mom, mom, mom….” I remember when my lil man started to say mom, my heart just melted, not now! Mom is changing her name to El Crazioto.

Vacation time for the family means you still are at work doing the same thing except with some help from the assistant manager (dad) that seems to not do it the right way therefore making you work either twice as hard, or aggravated. Or they say “oh honey, I’ve worked all week, please handle this and I’ll do the next one.” That’s where I want to pull my trusted step stool out, climb those stairs, and smack him in the back of the head and say “oh honey, I’m still at work! At least you are able to leave your work!” Hubby works 3rd in my house and sleeps during the day. These are my hours: 6a-4p I am cleaning and playing with the kids, 4p-10p I have help from assistant, 5p-7p is cooking and eating dinner, 10p-6a I am on-call. This doesn’t include when Hubby is working over-time and going in early or the nights I have school work piled up to the ceiling and I only get 3-4 hours of sleep if I’m lucky. I have to work holidays, bad days, and days where I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Heaven forbid if me and the lil man woke up on the wrong side of the bed on the same day. That spells disaster at its best. Mega-Tornado. On those days I know to keep my mouth shut, and my mind busy or I’m going to snap like a green bean.

Personal time? I laugh at those two words. I go to the bathroom, lil man goes with me. I go take a bubble bath, lil man is playing in my bubbles. As I type this, lil man is sitting right on my left arm making it hard to type as he watches a bus that has to do errands. If you are like me, grocery shopping is personal time but then I’m worried about the kids when I’m gone. Personal time….I can’t stop laughing at those words.

There’s more to a SAHM. I’m a referee, maid, exterminator, short cook, chef, butt wiper, maid, snot wiper, vomit cleaner,  boogie man catcher, nightmare calmer, maid, beating stick for wrestling boys, meal planner, grocery getter, financial advisor, bill payer, boo-boo fixer, teacher, search and rescue of lost toys and other items, maid, and this list could go on, and on.

I know it seems like I’m doing nothing but complaining…nope I’m venting.  I love my life and the time I get to spend with my family. I love being able to see my lil man grow up and learn new things. I love being able to know that he isn’t getting all germed up at a day care and taking us all down with him. I love knowing that my kids are being raised correctly. I like being my own manager.  I love being able to be pulled out of a bad mood by a simple hug and a “love yoo mommie.” I love being able to spend time with my family and not sitting in traffic cussing everyone and wishing I was a SAHM. I love my job regardless of its horrible benefits, and awful pay. I feel over-worked and under-appreciated, but when my boys grow up and get out of the house and have their own families…that’s when the appreciation will kick in. It’s a hard job, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

Wrecking Ralph and the Bully

Last night my best friend, Bree, had to take her son Ralph to the ER. I call him Ralph because it’s short for Wrecking Ralph and if you knew this kid you would understand! He’s a mix between a dare devil, chaotic, accident prone, and wild. He is a sweet child don’t get me wrong, and he’s very smart but he throws caution to the wolves. He’s not even 3 and has been to the ER three times. Not because mom and dad’s neglect but because this boy is all of the above. You can’t hold this kid down. It’s like trying to leash a grizzly bear…aint happening! He wasn’t a year old yet and decided to base jump off the bed. That ended in a broken collar bone. Then a little after a year, he did a forward facing ½ summersault pike dive off the couch and landed himself stitches in the lip. And last night the entertainment center jumped him and that landed staples in his head. Poor kid!! I guess he had to try to be like Trooper. Only positive is it’s right here at Halloween and it goes good with costumes.

But thinking about Ralph and Trooper it dawned on me…we have bullies as entertainment centers. Both entertainment centers jumped our kids. They’re too chicken to jump someone their own size, they can only pick on the little ones. I’m boycotting the bullies. I’m gonna leave dust in their eyes. How dare them hurt our children. Right now mine knows I’m packing heat. I’ve got my eyes on it and one wrong move and BAM!!! Pledge time! Mess with my kid and see what happens.

School, and jealousy, and storms oh my!

School. School. School. Did I mention that I really despise school? LOL Yes I am pushing for a double major. Right now I’m focusing on a Business Degree, and if possible my double major will include HR. I salute the women who work full time, have children, and school. I’m just a stay at home mom and I struggle. But I take my time and this is my 3rd semester in and I’m rocking a 4.0 grade average. Yep gonna toot my horn some.

Speaking of tooting horns, has anyone seen the picture floating around the internet where it’s a mother of 3 and she is ripped up and looks good? Why are people having such a hard time with this? I think she rocks! There are some people saying that she doesn’t have her priorities right, she doesn’t put her kids first, blah blah blah. Poor lady. That picture motivates me. Not to exercise but to want to. That’s close right? Wonder if I can burn calories by thinking about exercise? That would kick butt! I would be so fit….who the hell am I kidding, I would still be flabby.

Update on Trooper: He continues to rip off his band aid and his butterfly stitches, but it does look like it’s healing up good. Also, none of the boys will admit to cutting the pillow case. The case of the pillow case remains unsolved although if this was put in front of a jury, Marvin would have some incriminating evidence against him.

Nothing much has happened in the past few days. It’s remained calm. As a mom I have come to realize in my years that calm really is the calm before the storm and all hell is going to break lose soon. Fingers crossed that no storms are sneaking up! Have a great night yall!

Oh What A Weekend

This weekend has been an adventurous one. We went camping at our normal camping spot about 45 minutes down the road. Hubby had to work Friday night and he got off work early, so he got to the camper around 4 in the morning (Saturday). Needless to say when I wake up and see a man standing in the camper, my “Buddy” bout put a few holes in the wall. But no one has holes in them, and Buddy remained in his bed.

Now the day is going by and I noticed that Trooper has ripped out his stitches! Kid, really? So we put butterfly stitches on it since it has only been about 2 days. Then later on that night we are all playing corn hole in the middle of the street, (yea redneck style) and my youngest walks over to a friend of ours RV. Next thing I hear is a loud bang, and Trooper is screaming his head off. Of course I look like the Road Runner and take off towards him with a dust cloud behind me. I don’t even think my feet hit the ground. He plummeted down 6 very steep steps and he was laid out. I automatically figured his chin wound was gaping open, and blood looked like the Niagara Falls but nope his chin was still intact. BUT his left side of his face and down his neck looks like he was drug behind a car. We check him out and he’s all good. He learnt that sky diving isn’t so fun. Well…I guess that would be base jumping huh? Poor dude.

Let’s hope this week is better.

Bloody Gash

What a day! So my youngest decided to barrel into the entertainment stand with his chin. He screamed so loudly that I’m sure China heard him. But he didn’t cry at all. I looked at him to see if he was toothless and realized he was bleeding from his chin. I grabbed a wash cloth, of course it had to be white, cold water, and straight to his chin. I look and saw it wasn’t the normal straight line gash, it was a gaping wound. Oh hell! This momma was ready to freak out! But I remained calm cause who needs a freaked out child who is petrified. So long story short, 3 stitches and several hours later, he was a whiney mess. More than his norm of whiney. He deserves to be whiney tonight. He was momma’s trooper! Now momma on the other hand had to grasp reality twice. In all this mess I’m trying not to pass out. Let me explain this. I do absolutely fine with blood and guts UNTIL the bloody gutty person says ‘ouch’ and from that moment on its sparkly lights. After they numbed that sucker (the wound) and he quit telling the nurse to stop it hurts, I was good. I watched it all…needles and thread. I had it under control. The best news out of all this…1st his head is still attached and he isn’t going to be running around like a backwoods redneck with 2 ‘tooths’ left in his whole head and 2nd he held his pee until he got to the potty! Yes! Why so happy you ask? Cause I didn’t have to change a pee filled underwear that’s why. Potty training can be so much fun…for a crazed person.

Let’s hope the night is adventureless and everyone sleeps deeply.

The Case of the Pillow Case

Last night was the case of the pillow case. I have kids that think mom and dad are dumb and have never done anything in their lives. I find a pillow case with the corner cut off. Not the oops I caught it on something, or I gnawed on it while I slept. This was intentional grabbed scissors and cut the corner off. So I ask the two older boys and my responses are: Nope and No. Awesome! Maybe for Christmas I can get the tattoo of STUPID across my forehead. Yay! Just what I’ve always wanted. *insert sarcasm here* Not only do we have a crazed corner cutter off-er, but now we have a liar. At least the middle one didn’t blame the 2 year old or the dog this time.

My middle son, we will call him Marvin with the first name of Messy, he tends to come up with the most ridiculous things I swear a human being can say out of their mouths. One time he tried being sneaky and cut a slit under a stuffed dogs ear and hid things in it. When asked about it, “the youngest brother did it.” He gave us a great story about how the youngen must have cut it and put these objects in it and put the stuffed dog, which by the way was just as big as Marvin, back on the bed and left it there for us to find. Like some sneaky plan to get his older brother in trouble. Another time where I wondered if my tattoo on my forehead was showing.

Oh how about this one for Marvin. One day he’s eating a hot dog and you see him stop chewing and just sit there. “Why what is the matter young fellow?” Marvin’s response: “I forgot how to swallow.” Take that one and let it simmer.  Below are some things Marvin has said lately:

  • While eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, oldest brother stated he hated jelly. Marvin, in his genius way, says “Dude it’s like a chicken biscuit without the chicken!” Ummm….sure!
  • “Mom! That frog was either the frog I caught the other night or it wasn’t.” Ha! Good one. Maybe it ate the other frog and it was a 2-in-1 deal.
  • “That moth is the moth that was outside. He flew inside.” Thank you Marvin. I figured he was staying under the stairs and decided it was time to take off.

Those are just a few of the wonderful Marvin-isms he can come up with.  I’m going to leave you with these and let you simmer them.