Tag Archives: kids

Love to Hate SAHM

Walls. Four of them. They tend to move at me, closing in. Sometimes I even see them pointing and laughing at me. Other times they move in the middle of the night and when sleep deprived mom wakes up to get the kids up, I’m usually bouncing off them all the way to each boy’s room.

I’m not the typical stay-at-home-mom. I don’t go run errands, go to the park, or just have a fun time. I am the SAHM that has the never ending laundry basket, dishes in the sink, and a dirty house. I constantly clean up after my lil man, and the rest of the family. Laundry is the evil villain in my house. It mocks me as I wash them. It’s like a horror movie! I’m throwing clothes in the washer and the laundry basket is laughing as the clothes are marching in and jumping in the basket. Clothes are also running around the house and running out of energy to just plop where they were. Sounds nightmarish huh?

Then you have toys. The evil villains trusted side kick. They come to life while you have your back turned, like the movie Toy Story.  They live their normal lives amongst us giants that like to throw them in the box. I call them evil mainly because…well have you ever stepped on a toy blindly or even a Lego. I think that’s the equivalency of being shot but only by a toddler.

I am blessed that I am a SAHM but then again I am not. Some people would give their arm to be one, until they realize that it’s not all that fun. SAHM’s have no sick time, no vacation time, and no personal time. When you have the stomach bug, the cold, the flu, or whatever else can sneak in and get you, unfortunately you are the heart of the house and can’t miss a beat. Your youngen doesn’t care that you are sick; they want to play, or pee, or poop, or play choo-choos, or eat. Then you must do all that the little monster summons you to do or you will hear “mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mommie, mommie, mommie, mommie, mom, mom, mom, mom….” I remember when my lil man started to say mom, my heart just melted, not now! Mom is changing her name to El Crazioto.

Vacation time for the family means you still are at work doing the same thing except with some help from the assistant manager (dad) that seems to not do it the right way therefore making you work either twice as hard, or aggravated. Or they say “oh honey, I’ve worked all week, please handle this and I’ll do the next one.” That’s where I want to pull my trusted step stool out, climb those stairs, and smack him in the back of the head and say “oh honey, I’m still at work! At least you are able to leave your work!” Hubby works 3rd in my house and sleeps during the day. These are my hours: 6a-4p I am cleaning and playing with the kids, 4p-10p I have help from assistant, 5p-7p is cooking and eating dinner, 10p-6a I am on-call. This doesn’t include when Hubby is working over-time and going in early or the nights I have school work piled up to the ceiling and I only get 3-4 hours of sleep if I’m lucky. I have to work holidays, bad days, and days where I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Heaven forbid if me and the lil man woke up on the wrong side of the bed on the same day. That spells disaster at its best. Mega-Tornado. On those days I know to keep my mouth shut, and my mind busy or I’m going to snap like a green bean.

Personal time? I laugh at those two words. I go to the bathroom, lil man goes with me. I go take a bubble bath, lil man is playing in my bubbles. As I type this, lil man is sitting right on my left arm making it hard to type as he watches a bus that has to do errands. If you are like me, grocery shopping is personal time but then I’m worried about the kids when I’m gone. Personal time….I can’t stop laughing at those words.

There’s more to a SAHM. I’m a referee, maid, exterminator, short cook, chef, butt wiper, maid, snot wiper, vomit cleaner,  boogie man catcher, nightmare calmer, maid, beating stick for wrestling boys, meal planner, grocery getter, financial advisor, bill payer, boo-boo fixer, teacher, search and rescue of lost toys and other items, maid, and this list could go on, and on.

I know it seems like I’m doing nothing but complaining…nope I’m venting.  I love my life and the time I get to spend with my family. I love being able to see my lil man grow up and learn new things. I love being able to know that he isn’t getting all germed up at a day care and taking us all down with him. I love knowing that my kids are being raised correctly. I like being my own manager.  I love being able to be pulled out of a bad mood by a simple hug and a “love yoo mommie.” I love being able to spend time with my family and not sitting in traffic cussing everyone and wishing I was a SAHM. I love my job regardless of its horrible benefits, and awful pay. I feel over-worked and under-appreciated, but when my boys grow up and get out of the house and have their own families…that’s when the appreciation will kick in. It’s a hard job, but I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

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School, and jealousy, and storms oh my!

School. School. School. Did I mention that I really despise school? LOL Yes I am pushing for a double major. Right now I’m focusing on a Business Degree, and if possible my double major will include HR. I salute the women who work full time, have children, and school. I’m just a stay at home mom and I struggle. But I take my time and this is my 3rd semester in and I’m rocking a 4.0 grade average. Yep gonna toot my horn some.

Speaking of tooting horns, has anyone seen the picture floating around the internet where it’s a mother of 3 and she is ripped up and looks good? Why are people having such a hard time with this? I think she rocks! There are some people saying that she doesn’t have her priorities right, she doesn’t put her kids first, blah blah blah. Poor lady. That picture motivates me. Not to exercise but to want to. That’s close right? Wonder if I can burn calories by thinking about exercise? That would kick butt! I would be so fit….who the hell am I kidding, I would still be flabby.

Update on Trooper: He continues to rip off his band aid and his butterfly stitches, but it does look like it’s healing up good. Also, none of the boys will admit to cutting the pillow case. The case of the pillow case remains unsolved although if this was put in front of a jury, Marvin would have some incriminating evidence against him.

Nothing much has happened in the past few days. It’s remained calm. As a mom I have come to realize in my years that calm really is the calm before the storm and all hell is going to break lose soon. Fingers crossed that no storms are sneaking up! Have a great night yall!

The Case of the Pillow Case

Last night was the case of the pillow case. I have kids that think mom and dad are dumb and have never done anything in their lives. I find a pillow case with the corner cut off. Not the oops I caught it on something, or I gnawed on it while I slept. This was intentional grabbed scissors and cut the corner off. So I ask the two older boys and my responses are: Nope and No. Awesome! Maybe for Christmas I can get the tattoo of STUPID across my forehead. Yay! Just what I’ve always wanted. *insert sarcasm here* Not only do we have a crazed corner cutter off-er, but now we have a liar. At least the middle one didn’t blame the 2 year old or the dog this time.

My middle son, we will call him Marvin with the first name of Messy, he tends to come up with the most ridiculous things I swear a human being can say out of their mouths. One time he tried being sneaky and cut a slit under a stuffed dogs ear and hid things in it. When asked about it, “the youngest brother did it.” He gave us a great story about how the youngen must have cut it and put these objects in it and put the stuffed dog, which by the way was just as big as Marvin, back on the bed and left it there for us to find. Like some sneaky plan to get his older brother in trouble. Another time where I wondered if my tattoo on my forehead was showing.

Oh how about this one for Marvin. One day he’s eating a hot dog and you see him stop chewing and just sit there. “Why what is the matter young fellow?” Marvin’s response: “I forgot how to swallow.” Take that one and let it simmer.  Below are some things Marvin has said lately:

  • While eating a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, oldest brother stated he hated jelly. Marvin, in his genius way, says “Dude it’s like a chicken biscuit without the chicken!” Ummm….sure!
  • “Mom! That frog was either the frog I caught the other night or it wasn’t.” Ha! Good one. Maybe it ate the other frog and it was a 2-in-1 deal.
  • “That moth is the moth that was outside. He flew inside.” Thank you Marvin. I figured he was staying under the stairs and decided it was time to take off.

Those are just a few of the wonderful Marvin-isms he can come up with.  I’m going to leave you with these and let you simmer them.